Traumas Faces

Dear Friends.. I have not blogged for awhile because I've wondered if everyone is tired of hearing about ME and MY journey. Blogging has started to feel a little narcassistic. But I spoke with a friend that gave me a different perspective. She has never been through what she deemed a "massive" trauma, but she said she could relate to my struggles, and learned from what I'm going through. So here comes another blog post. This ONE year anniversary is very reflective and humbling. I was speaking with another girlfriend of mine who said she has been having strange upheavals of emotion about my accident as we come upon June 6th. She said,"you must be experiencing some of the same feelings." Yes. I am strangely sad and grateful at the same time. At times, admittedly though I feel ashamed for feeling sad, because I have been so greatly blessed. I've learned that it's OK to feel this emotion. There was a website that I was reading about responses to trauma, and the triggering of monthly or annual anniversaries of the trial. Every one of us have experienced "trauma" whether a fall, caring for a person after a massive fall :( my poor hubby, divorce, a spouse with a porn problem, addictions, finding out about sexual abuse of one of your children, and as we saw last week in Oklahoma a TORNADO, or other natural disaster, the list could go on and on. Human emotion surfacing from these experiences is normal. Possible effects... 1) Reexperiencing the Trauma, Flashbacks,nightmares, insomnia,intense response to reminders of the trauma. You may also experience strong feelings when faced with a monthly or annual anniversary of the traumatic event 2) Numbing of emotions 3) Increased awakening and stimulation... ie: irritability, outbursts, knot in stomach 4) Effects on beliefs, attitudes, and sense of self.. ie: I'm not safe, cynicism, sense of betrayal, etc. Best advise for ALL of us: * may have an intense need to discuss the trauma * strive to identify "triggers" that make you relive the experience. * write down memories, keep a journal... blog :) * strive to not overly isolate yourself from others. * At some point in your recovery, it may feel important for you to revisit the scene of the traumatic event (planning this with my husband and kids at my year) * Take time to learn and practice muscle relaxation, imagery and breathing skills to help calm yourself I hope this helps someone. This has helped me to see how "normal" I am. We are likely to bounce back and forth between periods during which you relive the trauma and other periods during which you are benumbed of feeling and avoidant of any thought or reminder of the traumatic event. This is entirely normal. Everything is going to be ok.


  1. Jamie, excellent post and advice. I was starting to isolate myself from others over the past few months. I would come home after work and not do much, but if I did, I would go out alone. I am not sure if revisiting Liz would make the divorce seem more final or make our relationship spark up again. I just know that I have to move on one way or the other. Glad you are doing well. You will have hurdles and with the support of Nick and your wonderful kids and family and friends close and at a distance you will overcome them.


  2. I will admit that I have had a hard time returning to Spokane WA after I had gotten strep in 2010 while visiting there...The strep hit me when we were in Seattle and so now when I think of Spokane and Seattle I think of the chance that I could get strep again. The strep was so bad that I had a fever for 3 days (I didn't go to a doctor at 1st when I should have...I didn't know what strep was...never had it before.) and the strep went to my feet. I could barely walk (I crawled a lot)...for a month! I remember waiting in line at Walmart for a prescription and the line was SO long that I felt like I was going to get sick just waiting in line...(I don't go to Walmart pharmacy anymore...) I remember my feet BURNING because I didn't feel right using the motor cart there...When I hear someone say they have strep I get a little anxiety and it concerns me. It's been 3 years in July since that happened and I feel a bit better, but when you talk of revisiting the place I think...Seattle...dirty...strep...Maybe I should talk to my counselor about this :) Thank you for your post! It's opened my eyes and made me realize I really need to get over it and move on with my life and stop WORRYING so much! Like Jewel says, ♫♫♫"Not to worry cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these...our hands their small I know, but their not yours they are my own and their not yours they are my own and I am never broken....in the end....only kindness matters...in the end only kindness matters. I will get down on my knees and I will pray. I will get down on my knees and I will pray...."♫♫♫