Dear Friends.. I have not blogged for awhile because I've wondered if everyone is tired of hearing about ME and MY journey. Blogging has started to feel a little narcassistic. But I spoke with a friend that gave me a different perspective. She has never been through what she deemed a "massive" trauma, but she said she could relate to my struggles, and learned from what I'm going through. So here comes another blog post. This ONE year anniversary is very reflective and humbling. I was speaking with another girlfriend of mine who said she has been having strange upheavals of emotion about my accident as we come upon June 6th. She said,"you must be experiencing some of the same feelings." Yes. I am strangely sad and grateful at the same time. At times, admittedly though I feel ashamed for feeling sad, because I have been so greatly blessed. I've learned that it's OK to feel this emotion. There was a website that I was reading about responses to trauma, and the triggering of monthly or annual anniversaries of the trial. Every one of us have experienced "trauma" whether a fall, caring for a person after a massive fall :( my poor hubby, divorce, a spouse with a porn problem, addictions, finding out about sexual abuse of one of your children, and as we saw last week in Oklahoma a TORNADO, or other natural disaster, the list could go on and on. Human emotion surfacing from these experiences is normal. Possible effects... 1) Reexperiencing the Trauma, Flashbacks,nightmares, insomnia,intense response to reminders of the trauma. You may also experience strong feelings when faced with a monthly or annual anniversary of the traumatic event 2) Numbing of emotions 3) Increased awakening and stimulation... ie: irritability, outbursts, knot in stomach 4) Effects on beliefs, attitudes, and sense of self.. ie: I'm not safe, cynicism, sense of betrayal, etc. Best advise for ALL of us: * may have an intense need to discuss the trauma * strive to identify "triggers" that make you relive the experience. * write down memories, keep a journal... blog :) * strive to not overly isolate yourself from others. * At some point in your recovery, it may feel important for you to revisit the scene of the traumatic event (planning this with my husband and kids at my year) * Take time to learn and practice muscle relaxation, imagery and breathing skills to help calm yourself I hope this helps someone. This has helped me to see how "normal" I am. We are likely to bounce back and forth between periods during which you relive the trauma and other periods during which you are benumbed of feeling and avoidant of any thought or reminder of the traumatic event. This is entirely normal. Everything is going to be ok.
Posted at 2:16 PM