Finding Myself Again
A couple of months ago, I was asked to come 12-12-12 to speak to some teenage young women. I agreed to it, knowing I had a couple of months to build my confidence in speaking in front of large groups again. 12-12-12 of course rolls around, and I was a MESS. Seriously, I was crying so much in the morning that I wondered if my eyes would still be swollen in the evening. Nothing was helping my nerves. I decided to go to the gym to get my blood pumping, maybe this would help. Nope, still weepy, and yes it was kind of embarrassing. From afar I saw an old friend named Miguel. He has the same scar that I do, and we have spoken a couple of times. I was getting ready to leave, and we said hello, and asked me a couple of questions... "Oh Miguel, you don't want to open up this can of emotion.." I thought. I explained something about myself from before the accident, and it was all over. Hello flood gates of tears. Somewhere in the midst of that conversation it became clear to me that I am grieving. I am mourning the girl I was before the accident... the girl that lived each day with ZEST, excitement, and courage. At that moment I felt that grief leave me. That girl is inside of me somewhere, and as I heal I know I will take the goodness from my accident and add it to that girl. I will be completely whole one day, I just feel it. Keeping my faith. Anyways, I went to speak, had an amazing time, and felt a new strength that the "old me" didn't have. So deeply grateful for an amazing experience. Love all of these young ladies!
Posted at 6:01 PM