12/13/2012

Finding Myself Again

A couple of months ago, I was asked to come 12-12-12 to speak to some teenage young women. I agreed to it, knowing I had a couple of months to build my confidence in speaking in front of large groups again. 12-12-12 of course rolls around, and I was a MESS. Seriously, I was crying so much in the morning that I wondered if my eyes would still be swollen in the evening. Nothing was helping my nerves. I decided to go to the gym to get my blood pumping, maybe this would help. Nope, still weepy, and yes it was kind of embarrassing. From afar I saw an old friend named Miguel. He has the same scar that I do, and we have spoken a couple of times. I was getting ready to leave, and we said hello, and asked me a couple of questions... "Oh Miguel, you don't want to open up this can of emotion.." I thought. I explained something about myself from before the accident, and it was all over. Hello flood gates of tears. Somewhere in the midst of that conversation it became clear to me that I am grieving. I am mourning the girl I was before the accident... the girl that lived each day with ZEST, excitement, and courage. At that moment I felt that grief leave me. That girl is inside of me somewhere, and as I heal I know I will take the goodness from my accident and add it to that girl. I will be completely whole one day, I just feel it. Keeping my faith. Anyways, I went to speak, had an amazing time, and felt a new strength that the "old me" didn't have. So deeply grateful for an amazing experience. Love all of these young ladies!

11 comments:

  1. I bet you were an inspiration to these girls.

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    1. Thanks. They were an inspiration to me! That's for sure :)

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    2. Jamie, I just saw your story on a repeat of the drs.my son had the same injury on 9/28/12 in a car accident. He also was blessed to be recovering extremely well until about 3 weeks ago when he lost complete use of his right hand. The drs are baffled, did you have anything like that with your recovery? He needs his right hand because he does architectural design and he is unable to even hold a pen now! We have a strong faith like you and are praying for this to turn around but we just aren't sure of the cause. Eric had his injury to his left side of his head and his skull is also implanted in his abdomen. He had a lot of complications with infection and needed 3 surgeries already and now has the reimplantion scheduled for 1/30/13. Thank you for your inspiration. Pat hunter

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  2. You a good daughter of our Father in Heaven, I am so glad he let us keep you here. Your to good for this world....

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    1. Wow John, thanks Bro. We are all just doing our best right :)

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  3. I was extremely blessed in seeing you in the Doctors program. I liked the analogy of the hammer. Great analogy! May your journey continue to bring blessings to those in need! God Bless!!

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  4. Saw you on the Doctors. I believe you were put on this earth to experience that accident so that you could teach people how to preserver. Wishing you and your family the best.

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  5. Oh Jamie! I had not read your last couple of posts and noticed this one. I have two neices in that picture!!!! I love that you were able to speak to them. Thank you for your wonderful example. I love you friend!!!! xoxoxo

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  6. Your story is amazing!! Very inspiring! Someone posted your blog on my dear friend's site: https://www.facebook.com/PrayingForTheNevils. The precious 12 year old daughter Lauren will be having her bone flap replaced tomorrow. Lauren's mom, Katy, was killed instantly in the 11/16/12 car accident. I have shared your blog with the friends and family. You give us all hope that Lauren will be healed. Thank you! I am now praying for you and your family.

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  7. Thanks Carolyn Reba and Hailey... we keep moving forward right? :)

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  8. Cynthia... Thank you so much for sharing. I am praying for Lauren, and have posted it out to my friends to also pray for her. What a traumatic experience alone to lose her mother, then to face this brain injury I'm sure is daunting. Please let her know she can contact me if she wants to talk!! PRAYERS TO LAUREN!!!

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